Thursday, August 27, 2015

Life's an hourglass

Ever have those moments when something so simple stirs up a million and one memories and leaves you a little speechless and completely breathless?
That happened to me today.

I was driving down to our weekly Gymboree class with Landon and he was getting bit restless. I randomly remembered the playlist I made him before he was born. (Side note: I swore we were going to listen to this every night at bedtime and we'd sing and rock and drift right off to sleep. I think it's happened about....once) Anywho, we don't listen to his playlist often, simply because I forget...but not today! I turned it on shuffle and about 45 seconds into song #1 *Somewhere Over The Rainbow*, little man was passed out. #Success

I decided I would continue listening rather than changing it back to the radio. Song two comes on, awww it's sweet, I sing along. Song three comes on and BOOM- I'm fighting back the tears. Let's clear things up- I'm not an overly emotional person, it takes a lot to get the tears flowing. Listening to that song made every tiny little detail of the last 6 months come flying back. Before Landon was born and I was creating this playlist I searched high and low for the perfect jams. This one, this one little song, was perfection. Before my little man arrived I had already deemed this "our song". 

So I listened to "our song" while my little angel slept and periodically glanced at him in the mirror and was reminded of how wonderfully blessed I am to be his Mama. I thought of the day he was born, the first time I held him, our middle of the night bonding time, his first smile (which was probably a result of gas), his first giggle, when he rolled over the first time and gave me the most devilish grin...every little thing came flooding into my mind and brought the most joyous tears to my eyes. 

How in the world can someone so small have such a monumental impact on my life? It's profound and beautiful how drastically a tiny human impacts every single emotion. I love him. I can't say it enough, although I'm sure some of you are thinking 'trust me, you can and you have.'

Perhaps next time I won't have a post about Landon.
The chances are highly unlikely though. ;o)

Until next time...
Mama Bear signing off...

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Half Birthday Happiness

My dear sweet baby boy,

How can I find the right words to tell you how much you've changed my life in the most wonderful way possible? Simply put- I can't. There will never be enough words to fully express how much you've made my heart grow. How proud I am to call you mine. How completely and utterly in love I am with you.

Every day you do something that leaves me in awe. It can be as simple as finding your toes (and managing to get them into your mouth- holy flexible!) It can be the way your whole face lights up when I walk into your room in the morning. Every single thing you do makes me love you more, yes even the incessant crying when you refuse to take a nap makes me love you more. Might seem crazy how that increases my love for you but it's because eventually you give in and your little hand grasps any part you can hold of your Mama and you push your little head into my neck and snuggle yourself right into my soul. It's perfection.

I've always known, since I was a little kid, that I wanted to be a Mama. I wanted to do everything my Mommy did for me with another little human. I never in my wildest dreams imagined YOU would be this rewarding or fulfilling. I find it hard to believe that six whole months have flown by. Six months of my heart filling to the brim and overflowing each and every day. You amaze me and I am so lucky to call you mine.

Happy Half Birthday Little Chunk!

I love you beyond words,


Saturday, August 1, 2015

Onwards and upwards!

August 1, 2015
I wan't to remember today as the day I decided to really step out of my comfort zone and make some big changes.

I want to grow as an individual.
I want to inspire those around me.
I want to help my friends and family.
I want to become a better wife, mama, and all around person.
I want to make my family proud.
I want to find a new spiritual outlet.
I want to plant a garden.
I want to be healthy.
I want to be strong.
I want to set goals and then exceed them.
I want to meet new people and make new friends.
I want to be more adventurous. 

I want, I want, I want!!!!

Most importantly:
I WILL do all of the above and then some.

Here's to new beginnings and a hell of a journey...

Friday, July 17, 2015

5 months of learning...

5 things I've learned in 5 months as a new Mama:

1. The pressure to breastfeed is astronomically high. Seriously, I have never felt so judged before. It's been a learning experience and one I'm glad I've had to endure. I know I will never ask a Mama what she's feeding her baby. Mainly because it's none of my business and when it comes down to it, it doesn't matter. She's doing what she thinks is best for her baby and that's what counts. When people ask me I constantly feel the need to justify why I stopped breastfeeding and I shouldn't have to do that. Let's just be brutally honest, breastfeeding is hard. It's time consuming. It's exhausting. While I agree that it is definitely worth it for the baby, sometimes it doesn't always work. I tried for a month and for a month I watched my little boy lose more and more weight. He latched, I pumped, he bottle fed...none of it increased his weight or helped his overwhelming reflux. So we transitioned to formula and within 3 days he gained 5 oz. In the first month he barely gained an ounce over a weeks time and with a small change he gained five in a matter of days. I was relieved and happy to see an improvement and then...I felt nothing but guilt. Everyone around me was unknowingly posting about how amazing it feels to feed their babies the best and I felt like a failure. I no longer feel like a failure, I know my decision was in the best interest of Landon but from time to time I do get a few pangs of guilt. So for the love of Pete (who's Pete?) don't judge Mamas for how they feed. Just encourage them for loving and supporting that little bundle of fat joy. 

2. Time flies. Time stands still. In the blink of an eye your 6 pound peanut turns into a 14 pound walnut. Yet at the very same time your days run together and blend into 5 months and it feels like they never end. That's most likely delirium though. I'll admit, I'm leaning more towards the time flying thing; it's amazing how an hour nap only seems like 3 minutes but that's how it always is. Or you could have a baby like mine who literally takes 3 minute naps and then is ready to party for a few hours. We're still learning...

3. Sleep really is a thing of the past. It does get better (sorta) as they get older but not infinitely better. I am constantly waking up over every little sound coming from the monitor. The majority of the time it's just him moving into a different position but that doesn't stop me from staring at the screen for 15 minutes to the point of waking myself up completely and then finding it beyond difficult to fall back to sleep. I suppose one day I'll get over that too? For now I'll continue being slightly sleep deprived.

4. Your heart is on the verge of bursting every 3.3 seconds. They look at you, you melt. They smile, you smile bigger. They cry, you cry harder. Ok, that's a little lie on my part. Sometimes when Landon cries he lets out these hilarious shrieks. I can't help but giggle. I believe it's partly due to being a NICU nurse and listening to babies cry for 12+ hours, I've become slightly immune to the crying. Side note: For those who may be thinking "Oh, she's the 'cry it out' mom" please know I'm not. I don't let my kid scream bloody murder, but I also don't jump at every whimper. Back to the point...every little thing they do makes your heart fill a little more with love and soon enough it's big enough to explode. But it doesn't because lord knows you already have enough to clean up, no need to add more.

5. Those beautiful pregnancy locks you had, say goodbye. I thought I escaped the dreaded hair loss and then 4 months postpartum it started coming out in clumps. I  may or may not be shedding more than my extremely furry dog. You know those pranks you see of people putting Nair in shampoo's funny till it happens to you...WITHOUT NAIR! I completely understand why new Moms chop of their hair...
A: It's falling out anyway
B: The little hair you have, the little shit Angel is pulling out.
It's a lose lose situation, so snip snip! Which is exactly what I did this week and I LOVE it!!! #ShortHairDontCare

The majority of this stuff I was warned about during my entire pregnancy but I guess peeps only preach the truth. I'm well aware that I have a whole lot more to learn over the next...many many years...and I am so ready for the challenge!

Until next time...
Mama Bear signing off..

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Today & every day

As I lay in bed tonight it's hard to believe that 6 months have passed since you left this crazy world. So much has changed in my life and I know you're looking down and smiling. While no one can replace your crinkly eyed smile, I now have a little man that tries to replicate it daily. He's beautiful and that smile, it would melt you to the core. His big beautiful eyes make me think of you all the time. 

It's funny how so many little things that I truly never noticed before are now so apparent and bring back so many sweet memories of you. When I say that you cross my mind every day, I mean it. Just the other day I was rocking Landon to sleep and I started singing a song and within seconds the tears were flowing- it was a song you taught me and now I have the privilege of passing it on. 

Most days I fair well, I smile at our times together and know you're  at peace. But some days, well some days just hit harder than others and I have to continuously tell myself to take deep breaths to get through. But every day I wish you could have met this sweet angel I call my own. You'd be the best PopPop and I know he'd fit perfectly into your heart. 

Miss you, Dad. 
Today and every day.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

4 months of fun!

So I came to blog a bit since it's been months and I discovered that I started a post but never finished it. After reading it and giggling at the lovely memories I decided I'll add it into today's post. So here it is:

In the last few weeks I have had puke (almost) fly into my mouth, a whole shirt soaked with pee, and numerous gag worthy poopy diapers. This kid of mine really knows how to make his Mama smell delightful. Luckily he has also been much better during the day, with less crying, which means I get to shower for more than 2.7 minutes at a time. HOORAY!

We visited our fabulous pediatrician for little man's 2 month well check up. I am happy to say that he is living up to his new nickname. Chunk weighed in at 9lb 7oz, he gained over 2 lbs in a month!!! WOO HOO!!! I'm pretty sure he would be well over 10lbs if he actually kept his food down rather than puking way too often. But we've learned to deal with that. We travel everywhere with at least 7 bibs and 10 burp cloths, even if its just a quick trip to Publix. And by Publix, I mean the mall or any place other than the grocery store because I still loathe grocery shopping.

And now back to today...
Oh how I remember those days, but lets be honest...they still very much exist! Although Landon's reflux has gotten so much better and his puking spells are much smaller and less frequent. Hooray for  growing out of the not so fun stuff!

Life with a 4 month old has been absolutely fabulous! I'll admit that the few 2.5-3 months of a baby's life is rather boring. Eat, sleep, poop, cry...and repeat. Since he turned 3 months he has been so fun to watch. From giggle fits, to endless smiles, to bubble blowing, to becoming a roly poly...I love it all! He's developing such an adorable personality and it's been so much fun to watch him change literally from day to day. Our weeks are always packed with gymboree dates, swimming lessons, trips to the Seaquarium and Jungle Island and so much more. We just can't help but explore!

I've noticed our little man likes to chat away around people he sees frequently but he's much more shy and quiet around big groups. It's amazing to watch how they interact with different people. We're so excited to head to Illinois next month, I just hope he gives his Gibby family lots of smiles and giggles and doesn't become shy around them. I'm sure our first traveling adventure will be one to talk about. I'm slightly nervous for the whole packing, flying, being out of our element thing. Lets hope he stays sleeping through the night when its not his usual surroundings. Oh yea, sleeping through the night started a few weeks ago and holy moly is it wonderful! I think with baby #2 (in the future peeps, I'm not preggo) we'll be transitioning to the crib much sooner.

I think that's enough rambling for today...this blog has no point or purpose but perhaps I'll enjoy reading in the future. Maybe Landon will too, who knows!
First time in the pool in Anna Maria

Fell asleep after a few minutes in

My blue eyed beauty <3

Jungle Island adventure

Playing at Gymboree

Getting ready for Father's Day pictures

Babyhawk in the pool

Until next time...
Mama Bear signing off...

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Soul searching

Have you ever watched something that triggers a memory so vividly it hurts?

Tonight I watched one of my favorite shows, Grey's Anatomy. Now I'm sure the majority of you know how terrible the last episode was based off the sheer fact that it almost broke the internet. It was a gut wrenching ending for a main character. It was painful and sad and infuriating all in one. I hated it. But what I'm hating most is how it's making my feel over an hour later. It was watching this beloved character take his last breathe that did me in. Now I can't close my eyes without seeing my Dad taking his last breathe. I can't sit here typing without crocodile tears hitting the keyboard. My insides feel like they're shaking. My heart feels like its trembling. And it all happened from a silly tv show. 

It's crazy to me how something so simple can evoke so much emotion. For a few minutes I felt totally lost. I was lying in bed with my boys surrounding me but in those moments I was so far from home. I think of my Dad often but it's always the good memories. The laughable stories. I try to avoid thinking of our last moments together. It's bittersweet. He was there for my first breathe and I was there for his last. It's painfully beautiful.

Right now all I want to do is pick up Landon and squeeze him till this belly ache goes away and this lump in my throat subsides, but he's sleeping so peacefully and I can't disturb my little angel. So instead I keep staring at a single picture. For now he has his Pop Pop's eyes and I pray every day hoping they don't change. They're the most beautiful blue and when I look at them, I feel like I'm looking into my Daddy's soul. 

Monday, March 30, 2015

Six weeks

Six short weeks ago my life changed forever. I say short but really they've felt like months and months. I think that's what sleep deprivation does to you. But back to where I was...this was me 6 weeks ago:
Yep, I was a walking miserable ball of complaints. I was so ready to be done with pregnancy. I was ready to hold my little man. And two days after that picture was taken that's exactly what I did:
In an instant nothing else really mattered except the little man in my arms looking up at me.

And now transition into delivery chat. Ready, set, go:
I always laughed when people said how you instantly forget about all the pain you went through...and I'm still laughing because I remember....oh I remember it all. I remember the horrendous back labor. I remember the wonderful epidural making everything warm and fuzzy. I remember when that warm and fuzzy feeling all the sudden vanished because the stupid anesthesia lady didn't give me the damn button to push in case I did feel the brutal contractions that made my back muscles feel like they were ripping to shreds. Then we had a quick remedy and I went back to warm and fuzzy, only to have that ripped away a few hours later. Ok, completely dilated, pain pump empty, nurse says "I'm not going to give you more because you need to be able to feel just a little so you push right." I stupidly agree because I couldn't even lift my legs on my own and that was a horrible feeling. And so we begin the pushing stage only to be rudely interrupted because another patient is also at the same point and guess who her doctor is...yep, same one as mine. So doc leaves, I wait...with no meds given. And I wait. And wait. Oh hey guess what, all the pain and agony comes rushing back just as the doctor is ready to get the ball rolling with me. HOORAY! And then bada bing bada boom....

Landon Gabriel Gibson makes his debut at 7:08 am! we skip to 6 weeks later. Life with a newborn is exactly what I expected. It's hard, it's exhausting, it's overwhelming....and it's completely worth it.

But I've never been the type of girl who paints the perfect picture of what people want to think life with a newborn is like. So here's the truth. The screaming alarm that wakes me up every few hours minutes sometimes makes me want to throw myself off a cliff. I roll over in bed and squeeze my eyes shut as tight as possible and say over and over again "please fall back to sleep, please fall back to sleep"...and it never ever works. So I grab the little six pound man next to me and he looks up at me with those beautiful blue grey eyes and in another instant I immediately melt all over again. And that's the truth. 

Our days aren't perfect. We've had poop blow outs, screaming matches, an overwhelming amount of puke, one meltdown (for Mama), numerous meltdowns for Landon, absolutely no sleep, and so much more...but we survived our first six weeks together.

So to answer every one's never-ending questions of:
Is Mommyhood everything you expected?
What's your favorite part?
Are you in love?

Yes, it's everything I expected and more.
My favorite part is every part...any time I get to smooch his little cheeks, hold his little hand, and snuggle the day away with him..yep, that's my favorite.
And I am hopelessly head over heels in love with the most perfect little man on this planet. My little buggy <3

So now that pukey pants is sleeping a little more during the day I might be back to my blogging. But I'm not making any promises because I choose snuggles over blogging.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Notice of Eviction

As of Monday, I have officially met my breaking point. The last few days have been pretty miserable and consisted of a lot of Mama Bear sulking. I may or may not have cursed people out (in my head) based off their random comments regarding pregnancy. So I worked Sunday and Monday and holy moly did that just put me over the edge. Twelve hour shifts, two days in a row are no joke when you're about to pop. By the end of the second day I felt like death. Thankfully Boss Lady noticed rather quickly and officially put me on maternity leave. I couldn't be happier, one less thing to stress over. I went to the doctor on Tuesday thinking I had made so much progress in a weeks time only to find out it was very minimal progress. Apparently I went from 2 to 3cm dilated and still at 60% effaced. Little man did drop even more, causing more and more discomfort. To be completely graphic, it currently feels like a pumpkin is resting in my lady parts. You're welcome for the descriptive comparison.

 But enough complaining...thankfully last night I finally got a full nights sleep with minimal wake ups. I felt rejuvenated this morning...and then by afternoon I was completely exhausted again. BUT I can happily say I decided to lose the 'poor me' attitude and just suck it up, at least that's my motto for today...can't make any guarantees for future days.

And now I leave you with this picture that epically sums up how I feel this week:

How far along? 38 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/loss: 26 lbs (103-129), don't think I'm gonna gain any more weight at this point
Maternity clothes? I think I will be transitioning to sweatpants for the remainder of the pregnancy.
Stretch marks? Still rockin' a stripe free belly...yippee!!!
Sleep: Last night I slept from 9:30 to 2:30 and it was AMAZING and then I managed to fall back asleep rather quickly and didn't wake up again till 6. That is by far the most I have slept in 2.5 months!
 Best moment this week: This week has been full of not so wonderful moments. I was a big bag of miserable.
Miss Anything? Comfort.
Movement: Oh yes, and still making me highly uncomfortable.
Food cravings: Spicy tuna roll sounds pretty yummy
Anything making you queasy or sick: Heartburn.
Have you started to show yet: Silly question.
Gender prediction: Mister <3
Labor Signs: Still nothing and its so disappointing. We want the little man OUT already.
Belly Button in or out? Outtie
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: This week I have been overwhelmingly moody.
Looking forward to: Any signs of labor...literally anything that shows he is on his way out will be the highlight of my life. haha

Until next time...

Mama Bear signing off...

Sunday, February 1, 2015


Holy Moly!!! We have officially reached BIRTH MONTH!!! And to anyone who says "what if he's born in March?"...I curse the day you were born. Do NOT wish that upon me, please and thanks. I THINK we're ready, key word being think. Car seats are installed, hospital bag is pretty much packed (I'm always adding/changing things), & home front is babyfied. So bring on the pain and cursing...I mean labor. 

I slacked again so this is another twofer PLUS a few nursery pictures:
36 weeks 5 days
Apologies for the crappy picture, I was too lazy to go upstairs and retake it.
Landon's Library

Beautiful artwork drawn by Aunt Ber <3
More homemade pieces made by Lindsay <3

And finally this weeks #bumpdate:

How far along? 37 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain/loss: 26 lbs (103-129), no weight gain last week
Maternity clothes? I may never go back to regular pants.
Stretch marks? Still rockin' a stripe free belly...yippee!!!
Sleep: If one more person tells me to "get sleep now, while you still can" I might explode. Here's the thing peeps...I DON'T SLEEP! The back/hip pain and general "I'm too big to even fit in a king size bed" feeling is officially here and not leaving. I can't wait to have Daddy or Abuelita (aka Wiwa) watch Landon so I can get in a peaceful and comfortable nap.
 Best moment this week: Hitting FULL TERM and knowing Landon can make his appearance any day now! (And yes, I realize this could still mean a few weeks)
Miss Anything? Spicy Tuna Roll!!!! And Jack's Sub Shack...can't wait for Studly to bring me some treats in the hospital!
Movement: Still moving like a mad man and causing Mama all sorts of discomfort.
Food cravings: Sushi sounds delish
Anything making you queasy or sick: Been pretty good lately.
Have you started to show yet: I feel like I'm about to POP!
Gender prediction: Mister <3
Labor Signs: A few take my breathe away, holy moly I think I might die contractions...but nothing consistent. Just lots and lots of uncomfortable pressure when I walk around too much.
Belly Button in or out? Outtie
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy. Excited!
Looking forward to: Meeting my new little man!!! I can't believe birth month is FINALLY here!!!

Until next time...

Mama Bear signing off...

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

ONE month countdown!!!

Well folks, we are exactly ONE month from Mr. Landon's due date! Holy moly, the excitement level is through the roof! Can't believe we're gonna have a little man to snuggle so so soon! I hope the next month flies on by because this Mama is getting quite uncomfortable. 

This week is full of pediatrician interviews and doctor appointments. Who knew you are supposed to interview pediatricians? I surely didn't. I went into today's appointment saying "Umm...I'm new to this...and I don't know what I'm supposed to ask you?" The nice man told me "Yea, I'm not really sure either, I've never done this before." So I thought I was one of those crazy parents already until he laughed hysterically and said "I'm kidding...I do this a lot...let me tell you the basics." He already won points with me because he made me laugh. We'll see if tomorrows Doc makes me laugh, pretty sure that's what I'm kinda basing this off of. Go ahead random peeps, judge away...I pick doctors off personalities and not credentials. #TerribleMamaStatus

Anywho, on to this weeks questionnaire...

How far along? 35 weeks 4 days (but in the picture I was 35 and 1)
Total weight gain/loss: 26 lbs (103-129)
Maternity clothes? I may never go back to regular pants.
Stretch marks? Not a darn thing, hooray!
Sleep: Sucky. Same old stuff, different day- hip pain, heartburn, back aches....ugh!
 Best moment this week: Hmmm, maternity pictures on Sunday were fun. Can't wait to see the results!
Miss Anything? The usual- sleep, comfort, life without heartburn
Movement: Slightly painful movements but yes, lots and lots.
Food cravings: Candy.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Heartburn induced nausea SUCKS!
Have you started to show yet: Silly question.
Gender prediction: Mister <3
Labor Signs: Not yet but Mister has definitely dropped causing some extra discomfort.
Belly Button in or out? Outtie
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy.
Looking forward to: Ultrasound next week to see the approximate size and weight of Mr. Landon <3

Until next time...

Mama Bear signing off...

Thursday, January 15, 2015

It's a twofer...

Apologies for the lack of #BumpDates. It's been a bit of a hectic/overwhelming/ridiculously emotional week. But we're moving along and overcoming all of life's crazy obstacles.
Here's a picture for 33 weeks:
33 weeks 5 days
 And now for this week's #BumpDate

How far along? 34 weeks 5 days 
Total weight gain/loss: 24 lbs (103-127)...lost a pound in the last 2 weeks
Maternity clothes? Heck yes!
Stretch marks? Still rockin' this perfect little belly
Sleep: Sucky. Hip pain, heartburn, back aches....ugh!
 Best moment this week: Having so many wonderful people show up to my Dad's memorial service. It was so amazing to see some old firefighters that I hadn't seen since I was a kid.
Miss Anything? My Dad <3
Movement: All day, every day.
Food cravings: Anything cold and cream & fruit bars being my favorite!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Heartburn induced nausea SUCKS!
Have you started to show yet: Silly question.
Gender prediction: Mister <3
Labor Signs: No labor signs but definitely been having some uncomfy times
Belly Button in or out? Outtie
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Life has been all over the place so trying to find happiness in the midst of the craziness has been quite difficult.
Looking forward to: Maternity pictures this weekend.

Until next time...

Mama Bear signing off...

Friday, January 9, 2015

Chasing Neverland...

They say with every year you age, the wiser you get. I feel like my wisdom has grown more in the last 3 days than it has in the last 5 years. Funny how life's critical moments can make you see things from a completely different perspective. I have a sneaky feeling this year will be an unprecedented year of growth in my life. It will be filled with plenty of huge learning curves and undoubtedly a significant amount of challenging times but also a staggering amount of exceptionally joyous times.

But for now, where do I begin to express my current emotions? My Dad is gone. Just typing that was progress for me. I may have erased it 3 or 4...or 17 times in hopes it wasn't true but then reality reared its ugly head and made me type it again, and again, and again before I accepted the truth. So he is gone, physically speaking, of course. I'm well aware that his spirit, his love, his strength- all of those crazy awesome attributes he had, live on in me. But sometimes the physically gone part just really sucks. There aren't any more warm hugs to be felt, belly aching laughs to be heard, or crinkly eyed smiles to be seen...and damn does that suck.

Sleeping has been a mission for months due to lovely pregnancy symptoms but now it's some what impossible. It's insane how many memories flood your mind in the wee morning hours. Four AM rolls around and all I can do is think about my childhood and the awesome memories Dad and I shared. I remember how he used to "fly" me around the room before bed and tell me I was just like Wendy from Peter Pan and he'd tell me the sooner I fell asleep, the quicker my dreams would take me to Neverland. And yes, that story is true- my Dad made parts of my life feel like they were taken right out of a storybook. And yes, I am forever grateful for those moments, those one in a lifetime memories. What I wouldn't give to be flown around my room now, although I'm pretty sure the extra 90ish pounds would make that quite difficult and absolutely hilarious to watch.

While losing my Dad has been far from easy I think I have been able to accept his death due to the overwhelming comfort I feel knowing he's not in pain or suffering anymore. The difficult part I'm facing now is the fear of forgetting the stories, the laughs, the struggles, the little moments that made our 28 years together...(insert perfect word here). Seriously, how can someone come up with one single word to sum up such a significant relationship like a Daddy-daughter duo? But back to the topic at hand- how do I overcome that fear of forgetting? A wise woman once told me (actually she literally just told me 15 minutes ago) to start writing down the stories people share in the coming days and weeks, write down the memories I can recall. And that's exactly what I'm going to do. I know I won't recall everything but at least when I feel like I'm forgetting I can go back and look through my random scribbles (aka ridiculously neat because I'm far too anal for a notebook full of messy writing) and remember bits and pieces of our exceptional (and not so exceptional) times together. I'm a firm believer in remembering the not so good moments helps you realize how powerful the best ones are.

I read another blog a few weeks back and it talked about how easy it is for people to sit down and spill their souls about all the hard times we face but then when we sit down and try to tell about the happy times, we're at a loss of words. I find that to be so true. When life's craziness is in full force I feel like I have so much to say but when life is full of goodness and smothered in joy- words seem impossible to type. So my goal for this year of growth is to process the wonderful moments and  share them. Don't get me wrong, I'll share the not so wonderful times too, mainly as an outlet to release my frustrations but I so want to share the best times. 

I think I've been typing this blog for the last 2.5 hours and I still feel like I'm missing so much. I have too many words scrambled in my head just waiting to be vomited on a page. But for now, I'll spare you. Tune in next time (aka probably later today) for Landon's weekly dose of belly growing happiness. 

And I'll leave you with a silly quote someone shared with me when remembering my Dad. I'm sure there will be plenty more to come after our service on Sunday...

"I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool."

Thursday, January 1, 2015

2015- The Year of Landon

How far along? 32 weeks 5 days 
Total weight gain/loss: 25 lbs (103-128)
Maternity clothes? I'm gonna miss these buttons or zippers...they're fabulous!
Stretch marks? Still pretty impressed with this perfect belly
Sleep: Sucky. Too much on my mind.
 Best moment this week: Seeing my Dad smiling and laughing today. It meant the world to me <3
Miss Anything? Right now I'm ridiculously nostalgic so I miss too many things to count.
Movement: All day, every day.
Food cravings: Not a whole lot right now.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Can life make you queasy and sick? Because it totally is right now.
Have you started to show yet: Silly question.
Gender prediction: Mister <3
Labor Signs: Keep em away for at least 5-6 more weeks please.
Belly Button in or out? Outtie
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: My happiness right now is the little wiggle worm in my belly. He is my light in this dark tunnel.
Looking forward to: February.

Until next time...

Mama Bear signing off...