Wednesday, January 21, 2015

ONE month countdown!!!

Well folks, we are exactly ONE month from Mr. Landon's due date! Holy moly, the excitement level is through the roof! Can't believe we're gonna have a little man to snuggle so so soon! I hope the next month flies on by because this Mama is getting quite uncomfortable. 

This week is full of pediatrician interviews and doctor appointments. Who knew you are supposed to interview pediatricians? I surely didn't. I went into today's appointment saying "Umm...I'm new to this...and I don't know what I'm supposed to ask you?" The nice man told me "Yea, I'm not really sure either, I've never done this before." So I thought I was one of those crazy parents already until he laughed hysterically and said "I'm kidding...I do this a lot...let me tell you the basics." He already won points with me because he made me laugh. We'll see if tomorrows Doc makes me laugh, pretty sure that's what I'm kinda basing this off of. Go ahead random peeps, judge away...I pick doctors off personalities and not credentials. #TerribleMamaStatus

Anywho, on to this weeks questionnaire...

How far along? 35 weeks 4 days (but in the picture I was 35 and 1)
Total weight gain/loss: 26 lbs (103-129)
Maternity clothes? I may never go back to regular pants.
Stretch marks? Not a darn thing, hooray!
Sleep: Sucky. Same old stuff, different day- hip pain, heartburn, back aches....ugh!
 Best moment this week: Hmmm, maternity pictures on Sunday were fun. Can't wait to see the results!
Miss Anything? The usual- sleep, comfort, life without heartburn
Movement: Slightly painful movements but yes, lots and lots.
Food cravings: Candy.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Heartburn induced nausea SUCKS!
Have you started to show yet: Silly question.
Gender prediction: Mister <3
Labor Signs: Not yet but Mister has definitely dropped causing some extra discomfort.
Belly Button in or out? Outtie
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy.
Looking forward to: Ultrasound next week to see the approximate size and weight of Mr. Landon <3

Until next time...

Mama Bear signing off...

Thursday, January 15, 2015

It's a twofer...

Apologies for the lack of #BumpDates. It's been a bit of a hectic/overwhelming/ridiculously emotional week. But we're moving along and overcoming all of life's crazy obstacles.
Here's a picture for 33 weeks:
33 weeks 5 days
 And now for this week's #BumpDate

How far along? 34 weeks 5 days 
Total weight gain/loss: 24 lbs (103-127)...lost a pound in the last 2 weeks
Maternity clothes? Heck yes!
Stretch marks? Still rockin' this perfect little belly
Sleep: Sucky. Hip pain, heartburn, back aches....ugh!
 Best moment this week: Having so many wonderful people show up to my Dad's memorial service. It was so amazing to see some old firefighters that I hadn't seen since I was a kid.
Miss Anything? My Dad <3
Movement: All day, every day.
Food cravings: Anything cold and cream & fruit bars being my favorite!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Heartburn induced nausea SUCKS!
Have you started to show yet: Silly question.
Gender prediction: Mister <3
Labor Signs: No labor signs but definitely been having some uncomfy times
Belly Button in or out? Outtie
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Life has been all over the place so trying to find happiness in the midst of the craziness has been quite difficult.
Looking forward to: Maternity pictures this weekend.

Until next time...

Mama Bear signing off...

Friday, January 9, 2015

Chasing Neverland...

They say with every year you age, the wiser you get. I feel like my wisdom has grown more in the last 3 days than it has in the last 5 years. Funny how life's critical moments can make you see things from a completely different perspective. I have a sneaky feeling this year will be an unprecedented year of growth in my life. It will be filled with plenty of huge learning curves and undoubtedly a significant amount of challenging times but also a staggering amount of exceptionally joyous times.

But for now, where do I begin to express my current emotions? My Dad is gone. Just typing that was progress for me. I may have erased it 3 or 4...or 17 times in hopes it wasn't true but then reality reared its ugly head and made me type it again, and again, and again before I accepted the truth. So he is gone, physically speaking, of course. I'm well aware that his spirit, his love, his strength- all of those crazy awesome attributes he had, live on in me. But sometimes the physically gone part just really sucks. There aren't any more warm hugs to be felt, belly aching laughs to be heard, or crinkly eyed smiles to be seen...and damn does that suck.

Sleeping has been a mission for months due to lovely pregnancy symptoms but now it's some what impossible. It's insane how many memories flood your mind in the wee morning hours. Four AM rolls around and all I can do is think about my childhood and the awesome memories Dad and I shared. I remember how he used to "fly" me around the room before bed and tell me I was just like Wendy from Peter Pan and he'd tell me the sooner I fell asleep, the quicker my dreams would take me to Neverland. And yes, that story is true- my Dad made parts of my life feel like they were taken right out of a storybook. And yes, I am forever grateful for those moments, those one in a lifetime memories. What I wouldn't give to be flown around my room now, although I'm pretty sure the extra 90ish pounds would make that quite difficult and absolutely hilarious to watch.

While losing my Dad has been far from easy I think I have been able to accept his death due to the overwhelming comfort I feel knowing he's not in pain or suffering anymore. The difficult part I'm facing now is the fear of forgetting the stories, the laughs, the struggles, the little moments that made our 28 years together...(insert perfect word here). Seriously, how can someone come up with one single word to sum up such a significant relationship like a Daddy-daughter duo? But back to the topic at hand- how do I overcome that fear of forgetting? A wise woman once told me (actually she literally just told me 15 minutes ago) to start writing down the stories people share in the coming days and weeks, write down the memories I can recall. And that's exactly what I'm going to do. I know I won't recall everything but at least when I feel like I'm forgetting I can go back and look through my random scribbles (aka ridiculously neat because I'm far too anal for a notebook full of messy writing) and remember bits and pieces of our exceptional (and not so exceptional) times together. I'm a firm believer in remembering the not so good moments helps you realize how powerful the best ones are.

I read another blog a few weeks back and it talked about how easy it is for people to sit down and spill their souls about all the hard times we face but then when we sit down and try to tell about the happy times, we're at a loss of words. I find that to be so true. When life's craziness is in full force I feel like I have so much to say but when life is full of goodness and smothered in joy- words seem impossible to type. So my goal for this year of growth is to process the wonderful moments and  share them. Don't get me wrong, I'll share the not so wonderful times too, mainly as an outlet to release my frustrations but I so want to share the best times. 

I think I've been typing this blog for the last 2.5 hours and I still feel like I'm missing so much. I have too many words scrambled in my head just waiting to be vomited on a page. But for now, I'll spare you. Tune in next time (aka probably later today) for Landon's weekly dose of belly growing happiness. 

And I'll leave you with a silly quote someone shared with me when remembering my Dad. I'm sure there will be plenty more to come after our service on Sunday...

"I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool."

Thursday, January 1, 2015

2015- The Year of Landon

How far along? 32 weeks 5 days 
Total weight gain/loss: 25 lbs (103-128)
Maternity clothes? I'm gonna miss these buttons or zippers...they're fabulous!
Stretch marks? Still pretty impressed with this perfect belly
Sleep: Sucky. Too much on my mind.
 Best moment this week: Seeing my Dad smiling and laughing today. It meant the world to me <3
Miss Anything? Right now I'm ridiculously nostalgic so I miss too many things to count.
Movement: All day, every day.
Food cravings: Not a whole lot right now.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Can life make you queasy and sick? Because it totally is right now.
Have you started to show yet: Silly question.
Gender prediction: Mister <3
Labor Signs: Keep em away for at least 5-6 more weeks please.
Belly Button in or out? Outtie
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: My happiness right now is the little wiggle worm in my belly. He is my light in this dark tunnel.
Looking forward to: February.

Until next time...

Mama Bear signing off...