Monday, March 30, 2015

Six weeks

Six short weeks ago my life changed forever. I say short but really they've felt like months and months. I think that's what sleep deprivation does to you. But back to where I was...this was me 6 weeks ago:
Yep, I was a walking miserable ball of complaints. I was so ready to be done with pregnancy. I was ready to hold my little man. And two days after that picture was taken that's exactly what I did:
In an instant nothing else really mattered except the little man in my arms looking up at me.

And now transition into delivery chat. Ready, set, go:
I always laughed when people said how you instantly forget about all the pain you went through...and I'm still laughing because I remember....oh I remember it all. I remember the horrendous back labor. I remember the wonderful epidural making everything warm and fuzzy. I remember when that warm and fuzzy feeling all the sudden vanished because the stupid anesthesia lady didn't give me the damn button to push in case I did feel the brutal contractions that made my back muscles feel like they were ripping to shreds. Then we had a quick remedy and I went back to warm and fuzzy, only to have that ripped away a few hours later. Ok, completely dilated, pain pump empty, nurse says "I'm not going to give you more because you need to be able to feel just a little so you push right." I stupidly agree because I couldn't even lift my legs on my own and that was a horrible feeling. And so we begin the pushing stage only to be rudely interrupted because another patient is also at the same point and guess who her doctor is...yep, same one as mine. So doc leaves, I wait...with no meds given. And I wait. And wait. Oh hey guess what, all the pain and agony comes rushing back just as the doctor is ready to get the ball rolling with me. HOORAY! And then bada bing bada boom....

Landon Gabriel Gibson makes his debut at 7:08 am! we skip to 6 weeks later. Life with a newborn is exactly what I expected. It's hard, it's exhausting, it's overwhelming....and it's completely worth it.

But I've never been the type of girl who paints the perfect picture of what people want to think life with a newborn is like. So here's the truth. The screaming alarm that wakes me up every few hours minutes sometimes makes me want to throw myself off a cliff. I roll over in bed and squeeze my eyes shut as tight as possible and say over and over again "please fall back to sleep, please fall back to sleep"...and it never ever works. So I grab the little six pound man next to me and he looks up at me with those beautiful blue grey eyes and in another instant I immediately melt all over again. And that's the truth. 

Our days aren't perfect. We've had poop blow outs, screaming matches, an overwhelming amount of puke, one meltdown (for Mama), numerous meltdowns for Landon, absolutely no sleep, and so much more...but we survived our first six weeks together.

So to answer every one's never-ending questions of:
Is Mommyhood everything you expected?
What's your favorite part?
Are you in love?

Yes, it's everything I expected and more.
My favorite part is every part...any time I get to smooch his little cheeks, hold his little hand, and snuggle the day away with him..yep, that's my favorite.
And I am hopelessly head over heels in love with the most perfect little man on this planet. My little buggy <3

So now that pukey pants is sleeping a little more during the day I might be back to my blogging. But I'm not making any promises because I choose snuggles over blogging.