Thursday, August 27, 2015

Life's an hourglass

Ever have those moments when something so simple stirs up a million and one memories and leaves you a little speechless and completely breathless?
That happened to me today.

I was driving down to our weekly Gymboree class with Landon and he was getting bit restless. I randomly remembered the playlist I made him before he was born. (Side note: I swore we were going to listen to this every night at bedtime and we'd sing and rock and drift right off to sleep. I think it's happened about....once) Anywho, we don't listen to his playlist often, simply because I forget...but not today! I turned it on shuffle and about 45 seconds into song #1 *Somewhere Over The Rainbow*, little man was passed out. #Success

I decided I would continue listening rather than changing it back to the radio. Song two comes on, awww it's sweet, I sing along. Song three comes on and BOOM- I'm fighting back the tears. Let's clear things up- I'm not an overly emotional person, it takes a lot to get the tears flowing. Listening to that song made every tiny little detail of the last 6 months come flying back. Before Landon was born and I was creating this playlist I searched high and low for the perfect jams. This one, this one little song, was perfection. Before my little man arrived I had already deemed this "our song". 

So I listened to "our song" while my little angel slept and periodically glanced at him in the mirror and was reminded of how wonderfully blessed I am to be his Mama. I thought of the day he was born, the first time I held him, our middle of the night bonding time, his first smile (which was probably a result of gas), his first giggle, when he rolled over the first time and gave me the most devilish grin...every little thing came flooding into my mind and brought the most joyous tears to my eyes. 

How in the world can someone so small have such a monumental impact on my life? It's profound and beautiful how drastically a tiny human impacts every single emotion. I love him. I can't say it enough, although I'm sure some of you are thinking 'trust me, you can and you have.'

Perhaps next time I won't have a post about Landon.
The chances are highly unlikely though. ;o)

Until next time...
Mama Bear signing off...

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Half Birthday Happiness

My dear sweet baby boy,

How can I find the right words to tell you how much you've changed my life in the most wonderful way possible? Simply put- I can't. There will never be enough words to fully express how much you've made my heart grow. How proud I am to call you mine. How completely and utterly in love I am with you.

Every day you do something that leaves me in awe. It can be as simple as finding your toes (and managing to get them into your mouth- holy flexible!) It can be the way your whole face lights up when I walk into your room in the morning. Every single thing you do makes me love you more, yes even the incessant crying when you refuse to take a nap makes me love you more. Might seem crazy how that increases my love for you but it's because eventually you give in and your little hand grasps any part you can hold of your Mama and you push your little head into my neck and snuggle yourself right into my soul. It's perfection.

I've always known, since I was a little kid, that I wanted to be a Mama. I wanted to do everything my Mommy did for me with another little human. I never in my wildest dreams imagined YOU would be this rewarding or fulfilling. I find it hard to believe that six whole months have flown by. Six months of my heart filling to the brim and overflowing each and every day. You amaze me and I am so lucky to call you mine.

Happy Half Birthday Little Chunk!

I love you beyond words,


Saturday, August 1, 2015

Onwards and upwards!

August 1, 2015
I wan't to remember today as the day I decided to really step out of my comfort zone and make some big changes.

I want to grow as an individual.
I want to inspire those around me.
I want to help my friends and family.
I want to become a better wife, mama, and all around person.
I want to make my family proud.
I want to find a new spiritual outlet.
I want to plant a garden.
I want to be healthy.
I want to be strong.
I want to set goals and then exceed them.
I want to meet new people and make new friends.
I want to be more adventurous. 

I want, I want, I want!!!!

Most importantly:
I WILL do all of the above and then some.

Here's to new beginnings and a hell of a journey...